Adventures with Bumbling Cameraman
Hello, Bon jour, hola, konichiwa,
So you thought that I had slipped off the face of the Earth? Well, I thought so when I got to Paquera, Costa Rica! Tulum seems like a metropolis of grandeur proportions compared to Paquera. But don’t get me wrong - it had its little pleasures and niceties. For example, the way all the townpeople had no street sense at all, and would walk in the middle of the road, oblivious of the hurtling Mitsubishi Montero filled with camera gear, two eminent cameramen and their field assistant (yep that´s me!). If it wasn’t humans, then it was chickens, pigs, little kids (oh yes, I guess they are human!), hawks with iguanas in their talons, baby owls.... you get the picture. While having a beer after a hard day in the field, you would get chatted up by the local whores, that are in no way oil paintings. Lovely personalities though! Would go and buy mussels (for the monkeys) from an eclectic restaurant in the mangroves from a woman that had a bigger and better moustache than I could ever grow.
But Paquera was only the setting for my evenings. The rest of the day was spent avcec les sanges (monkeys) in the National Wildlife Refuge of Curú. Oh, and what memories I will keep of Curú! That's what I want to share with you, while it is still fresh in my mind (I just got back from there, and am spending a couple of days of reality in San Jose).
Firstly, wildlife documentary work is not this amazing and wondrous thing that we all seem to imagine it is. Well, at least not if you are working with an inept cameraman! Yes, even the BBC Natural History Unit makes mistakes. This cameraman, so it seems, is very good at macro work i.e. filming insects, flowers - any short lens work. And he is also good when it comes to set work i.e. filming wildlife in sets, cages, fish tanks etc. But as most of you will be able to understand, it is very hard to film monkeys in fish tanks, or with a macro lens (unless you want to illustrate the life of a monkey’s hair lice or its hair follicles...)! He was also not very good at taking direction from some young and motivated fly-by-night kid (that’s me) and did not trust in my judgment. He should have, seeing as I am very knowledgeable in monkey business and generally monkeying around! He got the picture half way through, as I made some good calls. But it was too late, in more ways than one. Firstly, my dislike had grown stronger by that point, and secondly, he missed many great opportunities and behaviours that the white faced capuchins were doing. Fool. Enough of that though. Actually, no. Not enough - barely. Here are some semi-quotes from this cameraman, and remember as you read through this, he is a WILDLIFE cameraman:
(In a tone of exasperation) - ´There are so many variables - light, location, whether the monkey is an adult/juvenile, time of day.´.......yes Neil, that's called WILD life, and the nature of WILDLIFE filming!
(After radioing him to tell him that the monkeys are engaging in some very interesting behaviour) - ´I'll slowly make my way over there' ..........!!! And surely does make his way slowly, not to mention NOT bringing his camera and tripod with him by which point the monkeys are on their merry way!!
(Again, after radioing him from the troop ´frontline´ telling him that a couple of monkeys are actively putting their hands down tree hollows and cupping water in their hands and drinking, which I might add is great behaviour) - ´OK, coming over' ........which he does, but A: without his camera again, and B: walking right up to the fricking hollow, literally 6 feet from it, and scaring away all the monkeys!
‘I think we should put the mussels here - there is good light on the mangrove trees, and I have a good vantage point' - yes Neil, that’s all good, but the monkeys don't go this way!! Needless to say, he did stake out that location until I found the monkeys somewhere else.
(We put a red berry branch that the monkeys eat in an area that the monkeys always congregate in the mid afternoon, to get closer shots. Again, Neil decides that it’s best to put it on a tree where the light is nice. But again, I warned him that an isolated tree would mean the monkeys would not go on it. He still went with it. THREE days later, the light is perfect and the monkeys are all around, just not on THE branch on THAT tree!!! Hhhmm.....But the monkeys were drinking water from a hollow using a leaf to drink twenty meters away) 'Neil, the monkeys are drinking from the hollow´ ....... to which he responds in an exasperated tone, 'The light is perfect, the berries are in the light, the monkeys are here, AND IT JUST DOESN´T WORK!!!' before he goes up to the branch and rips it off the tree in a mini tantrum, thereby missing the drinking behaviour again.
Oh there are many more, but I won’t bore you with them all.
The place is amazing though. ANd not even bumbling fool cameraman could detract from that. Spider monkeys come right up to you, some nice, some baring teeth and chasing you. Howler monkeys howl all around the area, showing their neat and tidy testicles (you have to see them to understand why I made a point of that). A little orphaned baby (howler!) hangs around the main house, and decided to wrap himself around my neck. A stylish and innovate scarf, but not ideal for 35°C weather. However, definitely would sport that look in Edinburgh or DC in the winter.....And white-faced capuchins roam around the whole area, prodding, lifting, hanging, foraging, playing, and making filming them an easy-ish task (except for Neil...).
Then there is the other wildlife.... coatis, margays, armadillos, squirrels, anteaters, deer, and insects. And wasps. You see, I was following a troop of capuchins when I saw this bullhorn acacia tree with 4 wren nests, and 3 wasp nests about 10 meters from me. Realised I was too close too late. Suddenly was attacked by the stinging wasps, most of them getting in my hair and stinging the shit out of me. What to do? Well, I started running frantically across this field (doing little circles!), swatting my head repeatedly (must have caused more damage doing that!) as I ran, picking out wasps from my hair. Hundred and fifty meters along, I finally stopped getting stung, and nursed the 7 or 8 bites I had on my head, which were now causing my whole head to throb. And this was not the worst encounter with the insect realm. There are lots of cattle in the area, and lots of deer. That usually goes hand in hand with ticks. Yes, well, I got a couple of ticks over the course of the first week there. One on my foot, one on my leg and one on my waist. But what I was not prepared for was a tick on my dick!!! Which I had, not once but twice over the course of the last two weeks! And you know how to get the ticks off without leaving the mouthparts in, right? Burn them off........No irreparable damage done and endless source of amusement afterwards.
The producer came out half way through, and did away with the not-so-good cameraman, in time for when the Sync crew came, meaning Sir David Attenborough, his assistant Sue, the soundman Trevor, and top class cameraman Gavin Thurston. Amazing to watch and be part of that, and to see David working on location. I was invited to stay at the nice Barceló hotel/villa place where they were staying (and stayed on there until the end - hard life really...), all inclusive. Ate wonderfully, and drank fitfully. You would expect with David Attenborough there and the important two days ahead of us, we would have early nights, and be ready for action the next day. Oh, no siree. Gavin and I went to the discoteca one night, after having been drinking since 4.30pm, and going to the casino! Uhm, no, Sir David did not come with us. Danced the night away, and met this lovely cute Colombian girl, Paola. I slept all of 45 minutes before setting off for Curú and Sir David´s last and crucial day! And it was all a success, and he was impressed with the great groundwork we had done, and the set up of all his pieces. All in all, I was a happy and very tired man.
Since then, I stayed on with the producer and Gavin, the cameraman. A couple more nights out, one of which was spent drinking copious amounts of Long Island Iced Teas that we coincidentally had to teach the barman how to make. Absolutely hammered. The whole shoot went really well, to the point where they may do a long 40 minuter on the white-faced capuchins for a Wildlife on One program. And I have been semi-offered to help on that - which would entail two 5-week shoots at Curú. Fine if I am working with Gavin, but would rather eat my own shite than work with Neil, the other cameraman.
So, now I am back in civilization (of sorts). The last ten days were spent in that nice hotel, so actually will be slipping back down to less luxurious accommodations. But those ten days were a bonus, so no grumbling. We even took advantage of the golf course they had there. Gavin and I hired a golf cart and some clubs and went to play after a hard day in monkeyland. Absolutely hilarious two hours. Zipping along the fairways with the cart, up and down and all around. There was no one on the court, piste, field or whatever you call it, which was lucky really. Because, we were smacking the balls all over the place, creating craters, not divets, in the grass. At one point we lost the golf bag off the back of the cart as we accelerated away!! I could barely see the ball due to the amount of tears in my eyes. That, and the fact that the sun had gone down and we were playing in penumbra light, with a thunderstorm brewing in the distance. Gavin almost hit a small plane that was taxied in the small airstrip nearby, while I almost murdered a couple of wading birds that had made the golf course lagoons their home with some stray tee shots!! And imagine this, as we play around dressed in the scummy, smelly shorts and t-shirt that we had been using in the field for the last week!
Well, my time in Costa Rica is coming to a close. I am spending a couple of days more here, and then I fly back to Tulum on the 18th to rest and catch up with people there. No real plan after that - will see. Any suggestions? I hope that again, this email finds you in good spirits and health. Well, I will be happy if it just finds you! Let me know how you are doing, what you are doing and who with. Take care of yourselves.
Pura Vida!
Dave
So you thought that I had slipped off the face of the Earth? Well, I thought so when I got to Paquera, Costa Rica! Tulum seems like a metropolis of grandeur proportions compared to Paquera. But don’t get me wrong - it had its little pleasures and niceties. For example, the way all the townpeople had no street sense at all, and would walk in the middle of the road, oblivious of the hurtling Mitsubishi Montero filled with camera gear, two eminent cameramen and their field assistant (yep that´s me!). If it wasn’t humans, then it was chickens, pigs, little kids (oh yes, I guess they are human!), hawks with iguanas in their talons, baby owls.... you get the picture. While having a beer after a hard day in the field, you would get chatted up by the local whores, that are in no way oil paintings. Lovely personalities though! Would go and buy mussels (for the monkeys) from an eclectic restaurant in the mangroves from a woman that had a bigger and better moustache than I could ever grow.
But Paquera was only the setting for my evenings. The rest of the day was spent avcec les sanges (monkeys) in the National Wildlife Refuge of Curú. Oh, and what memories I will keep of Curú! That's what I want to share with you, while it is still fresh in my mind (I just got back from there, and am spending a couple of days of reality in San Jose).
Firstly, wildlife documentary work is not this amazing and wondrous thing that we all seem to imagine it is. Well, at least not if you are working with an inept cameraman! Yes, even the BBC Natural History Unit makes mistakes. This cameraman, so it seems, is very good at macro work i.e. filming insects, flowers - any short lens work. And he is also good when it comes to set work i.e. filming wildlife in sets, cages, fish tanks etc. But as most of you will be able to understand, it is very hard to film monkeys in fish tanks, or with a macro lens (unless you want to illustrate the life of a monkey’s hair lice or its hair follicles...)! He was also not very good at taking direction from some young and motivated fly-by-night kid (that’s me) and did not trust in my judgment. He should have, seeing as I am very knowledgeable in monkey business and generally monkeying around! He got the picture half way through, as I made some good calls. But it was too late, in more ways than one. Firstly, my dislike had grown stronger by that point, and secondly, he missed many great opportunities and behaviours that the white faced capuchins were doing. Fool. Enough of that though. Actually, no. Not enough - barely. Here are some semi-quotes from this cameraman, and remember as you read through this, he is a WILDLIFE cameraman:
(In a tone of exasperation) - ´There are so many variables - light, location, whether the monkey is an adult/juvenile, time of day.´.......yes Neil, that's called WILD life, and the nature of WILDLIFE filming!
(After radioing him to tell him that the monkeys are engaging in some very interesting behaviour) - ´I'll slowly make my way over there' ..........!!! And surely does make his way slowly, not to mention NOT bringing his camera and tripod with him by which point the monkeys are on their merry way!!
(Again, after radioing him from the troop ´frontline´ telling him that a couple of monkeys are actively putting their hands down tree hollows and cupping water in their hands and drinking, which I might add is great behaviour) - ´OK, coming over' ........which he does, but A: without his camera again, and B: walking right up to the fricking hollow, literally 6 feet from it, and scaring away all the monkeys!
‘I think we should put the mussels here - there is good light on the mangrove trees, and I have a good vantage point' - yes Neil, that’s all good, but the monkeys don't go this way!! Needless to say, he did stake out that location until I found the monkeys somewhere else.
(We put a red berry branch that the monkeys eat in an area that the monkeys always congregate in the mid afternoon, to get closer shots. Again, Neil decides that it’s best to put it on a tree where the light is nice. But again, I warned him that an isolated tree would mean the monkeys would not go on it. He still went with it. THREE days later, the light is perfect and the monkeys are all around, just not on THE branch on THAT tree!!! Hhhmm.....But the monkeys were drinking water from a hollow using a leaf to drink twenty meters away) 'Neil, the monkeys are drinking from the hollow´ ....... to which he responds in an exasperated tone, 'The light is perfect, the berries are in the light, the monkeys are here, AND IT JUST DOESN´T WORK!!!' before he goes up to the branch and rips it off the tree in a mini tantrum, thereby missing the drinking behaviour again.
Oh there are many more, but I won’t bore you with them all.
The place is amazing though. ANd not even bumbling fool cameraman could detract from that. Spider monkeys come right up to you, some nice, some baring teeth and chasing you. Howler monkeys howl all around the area, showing their neat and tidy testicles (you have to see them to understand why I made a point of that). A little orphaned baby (howler!) hangs around the main house, and decided to wrap himself around my neck. A stylish and innovate scarf, but not ideal for 35°C weather. However, definitely would sport that look in Edinburgh or DC in the winter.....And white-faced capuchins roam around the whole area, prodding, lifting, hanging, foraging, playing, and making filming them an easy-ish task (except for Neil...).
Then there is the other wildlife.... coatis, margays, armadillos, squirrels, anteaters, deer, and insects. And wasps. You see, I was following a troop of capuchins when I saw this bullhorn acacia tree with 4 wren nests, and 3 wasp nests about 10 meters from me. Realised I was too close too late. Suddenly was attacked by the stinging wasps, most of them getting in my hair and stinging the shit out of me. What to do? Well, I started running frantically across this field (doing little circles!), swatting my head repeatedly (must have caused more damage doing that!) as I ran, picking out wasps from my hair. Hundred and fifty meters along, I finally stopped getting stung, and nursed the 7 or 8 bites I had on my head, which were now causing my whole head to throb. And this was not the worst encounter with the insect realm. There are lots of cattle in the area, and lots of deer. That usually goes hand in hand with ticks. Yes, well, I got a couple of ticks over the course of the first week there. One on my foot, one on my leg and one on my waist. But what I was not prepared for was a tick on my dick!!! Which I had, not once but twice over the course of the last two weeks! And you know how to get the ticks off without leaving the mouthparts in, right? Burn them off........No irreparable damage done and endless source of amusement afterwards.
The producer came out half way through, and did away with the not-so-good cameraman, in time for when the Sync crew came, meaning Sir David Attenborough, his assistant Sue, the soundman Trevor, and top class cameraman Gavin Thurston. Amazing to watch and be part of that, and to see David working on location. I was invited to stay at the nice Barceló hotel/villa place where they were staying (and stayed on there until the end - hard life really...), all inclusive. Ate wonderfully, and drank fitfully. You would expect with David Attenborough there and the important two days ahead of us, we would have early nights, and be ready for action the next day. Oh, no siree. Gavin and I went to the discoteca one night, after having been drinking since 4.30pm, and going to the casino! Uhm, no, Sir David did not come with us. Danced the night away, and met this lovely cute Colombian girl, Paola. I slept all of 45 minutes before setting off for Curú and Sir David´s last and crucial day! And it was all a success, and he was impressed with the great groundwork we had done, and the set up of all his pieces. All in all, I was a happy and very tired man.
Since then, I stayed on with the producer and Gavin, the cameraman. A couple more nights out, one of which was spent drinking copious amounts of Long Island Iced Teas that we coincidentally had to teach the barman how to make. Absolutely hammered. The whole shoot went really well, to the point where they may do a long 40 minuter on the white-faced capuchins for a Wildlife on One program. And I have been semi-offered to help on that - which would entail two 5-week shoots at Curú. Fine if I am working with Gavin, but would rather eat my own shite than work with Neil, the other cameraman.
So, now I am back in civilization (of sorts). The last ten days were spent in that nice hotel, so actually will be slipping back down to less luxurious accommodations. But those ten days were a bonus, so no grumbling. We even took advantage of the golf course they had there. Gavin and I hired a golf cart and some clubs and went to play after a hard day in monkeyland. Absolutely hilarious two hours. Zipping along the fairways with the cart, up and down and all around. There was no one on the court, piste, field or whatever you call it, which was lucky really. Because, we were smacking the balls all over the place, creating craters, not divets, in the grass. At one point we lost the golf bag off the back of the cart as we accelerated away!! I could barely see the ball due to the amount of tears in my eyes. That, and the fact that the sun had gone down and we were playing in penumbra light, with a thunderstorm brewing in the distance. Gavin almost hit a small plane that was taxied in the small airstrip nearby, while I almost murdered a couple of wading birds that had made the golf course lagoons their home with some stray tee shots!! And imagine this, as we play around dressed in the scummy, smelly shorts and t-shirt that we had been using in the field for the last week!
Well, my time in Costa Rica is coming to a close. I am spending a couple of days more here, and then I fly back to Tulum on the 18th to rest and catch up with people there. No real plan after that - will see. Any suggestions? I hope that again, this email finds you in good spirits and health. Well, I will be happy if it just finds you! Let me know how you are doing, what you are doing and who with. Take care of yourselves.
Pura Vida!
Dave
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