Monkey Business from Tulum
News flash! David is soon to be leaving Tulum to consort with monkeys. He may still live up to his nicknamesake 'Mowgli' or Aladdin´, as he will have monkey friends. And to ward off any pesky ones, he may have to resort to some martial arts, in which case he will live up to his 'Karate Kid' look-alike reputation!
Hello, and how are you? I am fine thank you. In fact, couldn't be better, apart from a small pain in the back. OH well, all things considered, not bad at all. You will be wondering, is it already time for another instalment of 'Trials and Tribulations of David in Tulum?´ And the answer would be, yes of course. The time is ripe for boring the proverbial shit out of you. Talking about shit..the other day, I was walking around the Mayan Fiesta, and I stepped on dog shit (well, atleast I think it was animal shit, and not human,...). Now that happens to all of us once in a while, but alas, I was barefoot. I have learnt one thing from that - pooh is a whole lot easier to scrap off from a foot than a treaded shoe sole. Actually, learnt another thing: don't walk barefoot at Mayan festivals!
I did go to another town festive celebration after that. It was at the Xaman-Ha. Don't ask me what that means - what do you think I am, a tour guide or something!? DJ Flash Gordon was in da house (reminds me of DJ Phantom in Chinhoyi Caves in Zimbabwe..) in an open-top junior high type dance place, with smoke (artificially made, not bundles of wood being burnt!) and lights and YMCA type dancing on the stage. I must have been the only person in shorts, and for sure the only barefoot one (I do have shoes now, but I had flip flops on, and it is really hard to do the 'Follow the Leader' dance in those...Helped Marco Polo (waiter friend at local restaurant, not world explorer) pick this drunk off the road, and put him to one side so he wouldn't get run over. And did I get a kind word of gratitude? Far from it. He gave me the international sign of 'f**k you' and then proceeded to spit blood on my Sian Ka'an Biosphere Reserve t-shirt (I didn't get changed after work.).
I also had a chance to sample the Cancun nightlife. Went out in Cancun along 'The Strip' where all the springbreakers are right now. Oh dear. For all you Americans out there, please, please when you have kids, do NOT allow them to go on these so-called vacations. Bad for their health and give the USA a bad name! One thing that made me laugh - .a bit sadistic but anyway - one kid was coming back to his hotel drunk at 4am and needed a piss, so he just stumbled down the roadside and to the edge of the lagoon, and relieved himself. But what he obviously didn't know is that there are crocodiles in the lagoon along the strip, and they are active hunters by night (he would have known that had he gone on my tour.). SO the croc grabs the kid by the leg and tries to take him under. The kid shouted and shouted, but of course the shouts were drowned out in all the other background inane screaming and shouting from drunken fratboys and hysterically drunk sorority chicks, and other Jerry Springer fodder coming back from the bars and clubs. He was lucky though, as the croc must have been a small juvenile, as he was able to squirm free and drag himself up to the road for help! HA!!! Serves him right! HA!!
Actually fell asleep standing up in the Cancun airport. Never thought that was actually possible, but it happened. Of course, when it happens you start to fall, but I luckily caught myself, before making a large fool of myself.
My Costa Rica trip was a huge success: well, apart from being attacked by a savage spider monkey, bitten by a baby howler, and almost losing my shoe to a pesky spider monkey. Luckily the scientist I was working with didn't bite. Oh, .in case you don't know, I went out to Curú Wildlife Reserve in Costa Rica to meet with a scientist there, and learn about the whole area, where the monkeys are and what to do to get them to do certain wacky behaviours. All in the name of the BBC Natural History Unit! Then in April I go out with a camera crew from the BBC and David Attenborough (like the Crocodile Hunter but much more eloquent and English) to film the monkeys for the new series 'The Life of Mammals'.
Well, the first trip was great. I got to fly in a tin can with wings from San Jose airport to the location on the Nicoya Peninsula. There I stayed in some wooden cabañas near the beach, and 'played' with all the relocated wildlife. Pepe, the spider monkey literally pulled me off a bike, and tried to bite me, and then sunk his teeth in my shoe, and wouldn't give it back. Mamacita, a 4-month-old howler monkey the size of a large hand, wanted to get off my hand, and bit me (cute tiny teeth marks on my hand afterwards - no blood drawn). The four days were spent in the field, tracking troops of monkeys, being oggled by monkeys, thrown sticks at, and allowed to watch their every move from up close. On the way back I stayed at the Gran Hotel Costa Rica in San Jose (courtesy of the BBC of course)!! Hot water (well, at that time just water was a bonus) and a real bed with springs! And TV, with cable. And a phone, clean sheets, a window that had light spilling in - real light. Carpeting, a door that opened the first time, as opposed to shaking it almost off its hinges to get it open, and the best bit: no noise - no screaming kids, barking dogs, shrill great-tailed grackle (a bird) noises, or loud booming trucks rolling passed. In other words, Heaven.
Back in Tulum, the tour is getting hot and long these days. Not much to note, apart from it is hard work, as can be seen by the photo here. Well, once a a large snake fell from the overhanging mangroves into the boat, and actually onto my legs! I fought with it wrestling its sinuous body, making sure the fangs were away from my then screaming guests. I managed to battle the snake to the ground, and chop its head off, just in time, as it was recoiling to thrust its venomous fangs in my leg. A close call...OK, so not a close call at all. IN fact, what really happened was a small half a meter long, one inch wide vine snake fell into the boat and onto my leg, but quickly hid in the hold where we keep the food. When it started slithering out, showing its cute little tongue, I grabbed the tail (as one does with earthworms), to show to the tourists, in true Crocodile Hunter style. But it started writhing and I instinctively (and expertly) threw it off the boat, uhmm, not like Crocodile Hunter... Missed taking actress Jessica Lange, her actor husband Sam Sheppard, and their daughter on the tour by minutes. But however, I did meet Buck Roger's daughter. Lovely girl. And no, Tweegy was not around unfortunately. I only watched Buck Rogers to see Tweegy, not for those scantily clad women, dressed in 70s garb...We got a lovely but cheesy key chain done in the Mayan Fiestas with all of us in it, looking like Charlie's Angels... ahem, anyway.
We went out on the reef one day on the tour, and I had these two cute little fish swimming around my legs and crotch. They looked like baby sharks - very cute. So I got closer to one of my guests so he could see them, and they could maybe swim around him. It worked. But when my boatman saw them, he told me what they were - Pega pega fish. Now, for those that understand Spanish you will know that this means stick, stick. Well, these fish, like lampreys, attach themselves to larger fish and suck their blood! And to think these little fishies almost swam up my shorts... Thankfully, they did not attach to my testicle, (which I have to say would have beaten hands down the tick on the pubic area scenario I lived through in Costa Rica five years ago!!) or my tourists genitalia, although they did try to nibble my feet. Of course, the fun was over, and we were back on the boat in a flash!!
SO, life plods along down here. Contrary to what you may think, life is pretty much the same day in and day out around here, bar some bizarre instances. For example, the little hotel place in front of our office burnt down the other day. A spark flew off it and also burnt down Toni and Simone's Italian restaurant. As it was burning down, they were taking all their possessions out of the restaurant and the 'fire brigade' saw a box full of marijuana. They promptly let the police know and the owner Toni, and an Italian friend of his who was helping him move stuff were arrested, taken to Cozumel Island (no, not like Alcatraz, in that they could easily hop on a ferry and get back onto the mainland!). $30,000 or more dollars later, after bribing the police, the judge, fire brigade, etc they were set free. Ah, Tulum, Tulum.
Well, it was great to share some of my not-so-busy schedule with you. I miss you all still. Maybe I will soon see some of you...then again, maybe not. The BBC may send me out to Argentina on another shoot… or Brazil. We shall see. Until then, please keep in touch. After the 13th or so of April, I will be incommunicado, lost in the jungles of Costa Rica. So, a little note before then would be nice.
May you be in good health and spirits,
Love,
Two testicled Dave (yippeee!!)
Hello, and how are you? I am fine thank you. In fact, couldn't be better, apart from a small pain in the back. OH well, all things considered, not bad at all. You will be wondering, is it already time for another instalment of 'Trials and Tribulations of David in Tulum?´ And the answer would be, yes of course. The time is ripe for boring the proverbial shit out of you. Talking about shit..the other day, I was walking around the Mayan Fiesta, and I stepped on dog shit (well, atleast I think it was animal shit, and not human,...). Now that happens to all of us once in a while, but alas, I was barefoot. I have learnt one thing from that - pooh is a whole lot easier to scrap off from a foot than a treaded shoe sole. Actually, learnt another thing: don't walk barefoot at Mayan festivals!
I did go to another town festive celebration after that. It was at the Xaman-Ha. Don't ask me what that means - what do you think I am, a tour guide or something!? DJ Flash Gordon was in da house (reminds me of DJ Phantom in Chinhoyi Caves in Zimbabwe..) in an open-top junior high type dance place, with smoke (artificially made, not bundles of wood being burnt!) and lights and YMCA type dancing on the stage. I must have been the only person in shorts, and for sure the only barefoot one (I do have shoes now, but I had flip flops on, and it is really hard to do the 'Follow the Leader' dance in those...Helped Marco Polo (waiter friend at local restaurant, not world explorer) pick this drunk off the road, and put him to one side so he wouldn't get run over. And did I get a kind word of gratitude? Far from it. He gave me the international sign of 'f**k you' and then proceeded to spit blood on my Sian Ka'an Biosphere Reserve t-shirt (I didn't get changed after work.).
I also had a chance to sample the Cancun nightlife. Went out in Cancun along 'The Strip' where all the springbreakers are right now. Oh dear. For all you Americans out there, please, please when you have kids, do NOT allow them to go on these so-called vacations. Bad for their health and give the USA a bad name! One thing that made me laugh - .a bit sadistic but anyway - one kid was coming back to his hotel drunk at 4am and needed a piss, so he just stumbled down the roadside and to the edge of the lagoon, and relieved himself. But what he obviously didn't know is that there are crocodiles in the lagoon along the strip, and they are active hunters by night (he would have known that had he gone on my tour.). SO the croc grabs the kid by the leg and tries to take him under. The kid shouted and shouted, but of course the shouts were drowned out in all the other background inane screaming and shouting from drunken fratboys and hysterically drunk sorority chicks, and other Jerry Springer fodder coming back from the bars and clubs. He was lucky though, as the croc must have been a small juvenile, as he was able to squirm free and drag himself up to the road for help! HA!!! Serves him right! HA!!
Actually fell asleep standing up in the Cancun airport. Never thought that was actually possible, but it happened. Of course, when it happens you start to fall, but I luckily caught myself, before making a large fool of myself.
My Costa Rica trip was a huge success: well, apart from being attacked by a savage spider monkey, bitten by a baby howler, and almost losing my shoe to a pesky spider monkey. Luckily the scientist I was working with didn't bite. Oh, .in case you don't know, I went out to Curú Wildlife Reserve in Costa Rica to meet with a scientist there, and learn about the whole area, where the monkeys are and what to do to get them to do certain wacky behaviours. All in the name of the BBC Natural History Unit! Then in April I go out with a camera crew from the BBC and David Attenborough (like the Crocodile Hunter but much more eloquent and English) to film the monkeys for the new series 'The Life of Mammals'.
Well, the first trip was great. I got to fly in a tin can with wings from San Jose airport to the location on the Nicoya Peninsula. There I stayed in some wooden cabañas near the beach, and 'played' with all the relocated wildlife. Pepe, the spider monkey literally pulled me off a bike, and tried to bite me, and then sunk his teeth in my shoe, and wouldn't give it back. Mamacita, a 4-month-old howler monkey the size of a large hand, wanted to get off my hand, and bit me (cute tiny teeth marks on my hand afterwards - no blood drawn). The four days were spent in the field, tracking troops of monkeys, being oggled by monkeys, thrown sticks at, and allowed to watch their every move from up close. On the way back I stayed at the Gran Hotel Costa Rica in San Jose (courtesy of the BBC of course)!! Hot water (well, at that time just water was a bonus) and a real bed with springs! And TV, with cable. And a phone, clean sheets, a window that had light spilling in - real light. Carpeting, a door that opened the first time, as opposed to shaking it almost off its hinges to get it open, and the best bit: no noise - no screaming kids, barking dogs, shrill great-tailed grackle (a bird) noises, or loud booming trucks rolling passed. In other words, Heaven.
Back in Tulum, the tour is getting hot and long these days. Not much to note, apart from it is hard work, as can be seen by the photo here. Well, once a a large snake fell from the overhanging mangroves into the boat, and actually onto my legs! I fought with it wrestling its sinuous body, making sure the fangs were away from my then screaming guests. I managed to battle the snake to the ground, and chop its head off, just in time, as it was recoiling to thrust its venomous fangs in my leg. A close call...OK, so not a close call at all. IN fact, what really happened was a small half a meter long, one inch wide vine snake fell into the boat and onto my leg, but quickly hid in the hold where we keep the food. When it started slithering out, showing its cute little tongue, I grabbed the tail (as one does with earthworms), to show to the tourists, in true Crocodile Hunter style. But it started writhing and I instinctively (and expertly) threw it off the boat, uhmm, not like Crocodile Hunter... Missed taking actress Jessica Lange, her actor husband Sam Sheppard, and their daughter on the tour by minutes. But however, I did meet Buck Roger's daughter. Lovely girl. And no, Tweegy was not around unfortunately. I only watched Buck Rogers to see Tweegy, not for those scantily clad women, dressed in 70s garb...We got a lovely but cheesy key chain done in the Mayan Fiestas with all of us in it, looking like Charlie's Angels... ahem, anyway.
We went out on the reef one day on the tour, and I had these two cute little fish swimming around my legs and crotch. They looked like baby sharks - very cute. So I got closer to one of my guests so he could see them, and they could maybe swim around him. It worked. But when my boatman saw them, he told me what they were - Pega pega fish. Now, for those that understand Spanish you will know that this means stick, stick. Well, these fish, like lampreys, attach themselves to larger fish and suck their blood! And to think these little fishies almost swam up my shorts... Thankfully, they did not attach to my testicle, (which I have to say would have beaten hands down the tick on the pubic area scenario I lived through in Costa Rica five years ago!!) or my tourists genitalia, although they did try to nibble my feet. Of course, the fun was over, and we were back on the boat in a flash!!
SO, life plods along down here. Contrary to what you may think, life is pretty much the same day in and day out around here, bar some bizarre instances. For example, the little hotel place in front of our office burnt down the other day. A spark flew off it and also burnt down Toni and Simone's Italian restaurant. As it was burning down, they were taking all their possessions out of the restaurant and the 'fire brigade' saw a box full of marijuana. They promptly let the police know and the owner Toni, and an Italian friend of his who was helping him move stuff were arrested, taken to Cozumel Island (no, not like Alcatraz, in that they could easily hop on a ferry and get back onto the mainland!). $30,000 or more dollars later, after bribing the police, the judge, fire brigade, etc they were set free. Ah, Tulum, Tulum.
Well, it was great to share some of my not-so-busy schedule with you. I miss you all still. Maybe I will soon see some of you...then again, maybe not. The BBC may send me out to Argentina on another shoot… or Brazil. We shall see. Until then, please keep in touch. After the 13th or so of April, I will be incommunicado, lost in the jungles of Costa Rica. So, a little note before then would be nice.
May you be in good health and spirits,
Love,
Two testicled Dave (yippeee!!)
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