Sinkholes, Boas, Stitches and Kittens…
Yess, before you start moaning and bitching as to how 'cheap' I am, I hate these bulk emails too. But it has to be done every once in a while, to keep everyone up to date with all the 'pendejadas' (from the word pendejo meaning butt hair...) that have been going on down this part of the world.
Where to start? Still living in the shithole, although the shit part has been fixed, so now its only a hole. A marked improvement. No, really could be worse. The work has kept me tired, and recently a bit bored, but things are picking up again. Still meeting some great people from all walks of life, which adds an extra dimension to my work. In fact, spent three days in Isla Mujeres (island off Cancun) with a Canadian girl and her brother who I met here in Tulum, which was nice....to say the least (yes, I have become a man of little words, and less verbal diaorrhea!).
Some more excitement recently though. It all started one day when I picked up a big group of Yoga (not Yogi) retreat Americans. Nice enough people. Well I take them to a sinkhole (pool of freshwater with rocky bottom) in the jungle for a swim. I dive in first to show them that the water will not swallow them whole, or that the crocs won't for that matter, and that they will survive the experience (dramatists), and that, no, there aren't any of those fish that swim up your penis (or front-bottom if you are a female) and attach themselves to your urethera and have to be surgically removed (oh, wait up; still have verbal diaorrhea: sorry). Anyway, one of my tourists throws her mask and snorkel into the water, prior to jumping in herself. But she then proceeds to watch the snorkel and mask sink, shouting ´Look, its sinking _ ohh, no'...While this is goiing on most of her peers are in the water around the general area of where she threw the mask, but they don't attempt to stop the downward trajectory of the f***ing mask. So I, being the guide, come to the 'rescue', borrow one of their masks and dive down to rescue this mask and snorkel from the depths of the cenote (maya for sinkhole). At around ten feet depth, I realize the mask has settled nicely in the deepest part of the cenote, in a little crevasse. I keep on going down, and into the gap, and once I got the mask, I pushed off the bottom to make my way up the 20 odd feet to the surface quicker. Of course, in my rush, I didn't notice the slight overhang above my head, and hit it hard on the way up. As I go to feel the 'bump' I feel a large hole in my head, and see blood all over my hand and starting to drip off my head.
An hour later, after driving myself half way to town, I find myself in Salvador Arguellen's (local doctor) house. I wait in the living room which doubles as his waiting room. Then get called through to the 'office' which is just an area partitioned off by two curtains. Sit in front of his desk, only to have him start checking out the wound, and shaving my hair off right there and then. Basically, jabbed me in the head five times with a 'little' needle to anesthesize the area (my head), and then started sewing my head up. All this as his wife or mother were cooking in the kitchen on the other side of the curtain, and the local advertising VW beetle drives passed on the dirt road, advertising some cheap place to get chickens or something. Left the office with five stitches and a bandage going over my head and under my chin!! Yes, I looked like some character out of Platoon or a little kid who just had molar pains....all the same really....
On the way back to the office after a long fitful siesta, I heard this little whining coming from a garbage can on the street. After some rummaging, I find two little newborn kittens in closed bag!! One still had its umbilical cord on. So, being the softie that I am, I take them with me, tucked in my fleece (its cold these days) to the office. I bought a little syringe and some baby milk mixture and take them home. I made a little bed for them, and painstakingly fed them before going to bed. I was then promptly woken up by high pitched whines at 2am, 5am and 7am. I now know what it feels like to have a small child!
Went to the local pet store owner/vet man/cabaña owner/father of young guy who works in internet store for advice. Basically told me that it will be a gruelling month of four times per day feedings, and then no guarantee that they will survive without their mother. And then for what? For a life on the streets of tulum? He had a point. He gave me an alternative; to leave them with him, and he would kindly feed them to his pet boa constrictors (how you kindly feed live kittens to a constricting snake is beyond me). Of course, I thanked him for his information, and kind offer to plump up his boas with my two new friends (Spots and Stripes) and shuffled away with the kittens in a snickers box under my arm. What was I to do??? Well, after a lot of thinking, and deep searching into my soul, I did what any decent man would do………I fed two little beautiful kittens to two not-so-beautiful boa constrictors!!!! Well, not me personally, but I might as well. I feel so low. My conscience is rock bottom right now. But there is somewhat of a silver lining to all this….the guy wants to give me the boas so I can let them loose in the reserve. So its as if I have transferred the little kittens lives into the boas…..OK, MAYBE NOT, BUT IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER!!!!
So now I am nursing a five centimeter wound in my head, my deflated conscience, and like always after work, a couple of Negra Modelos (uhm, it’s a beer, not African-Latino model girls!! What do you take me for!??!). Ah, the beauty of living in Tulum, Mexico, eh? Its all just one big adventure, and barrels of laugh…..
Well, this episode is coming to a close, but stay tuned for more……’Trials and Tribulations from Tulum’.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Abrazos a todos, David
Where to start? Still living in the shithole, although the shit part has been fixed, so now its only a hole. A marked improvement. No, really could be worse. The work has kept me tired, and recently a bit bored, but things are picking up again. Still meeting some great people from all walks of life, which adds an extra dimension to my work. In fact, spent three days in Isla Mujeres (island off Cancun) with a Canadian girl and her brother who I met here in Tulum, which was nice....to say the least (yes, I have become a man of little words, and less verbal diaorrhea!).
Some more excitement recently though. It all started one day when I picked up a big group of Yoga (not Yogi) retreat Americans. Nice enough people. Well I take them to a sinkhole (pool of freshwater with rocky bottom) in the jungle for a swim. I dive in first to show them that the water will not swallow them whole, or that the crocs won't for that matter, and that they will survive the experience (dramatists), and that, no, there aren't any of those fish that swim up your penis (or front-bottom if you are a female) and attach themselves to your urethera and have to be surgically removed (oh, wait up; still have verbal diaorrhea: sorry). Anyway, one of my tourists throws her mask and snorkel into the water, prior to jumping in herself. But she then proceeds to watch the snorkel and mask sink, shouting ´Look, its sinking _ ohh, no'...While this is goiing on most of her peers are in the water around the general area of where she threw the mask, but they don't attempt to stop the downward trajectory of the f***ing mask. So I, being the guide, come to the 'rescue', borrow one of their masks and dive down to rescue this mask and snorkel from the depths of the cenote (maya for sinkhole). At around ten feet depth, I realize the mask has settled nicely in the deepest part of the cenote, in a little crevasse. I keep on going down, and into the gap, and once I got the mask, I pushed off the bottom to make my way up the 20 odd feet to the surface quicker. Of course, in my rush, I didn't notice the slight overhang above my head, and hit it hard on the way up. As I go to feel the 'bump' I feel a large hole in my head, and see blood all over my hand and starting to drip off my head.
An hour later, after driving myself half way to town, I find myself in Salvador Arguellen's (local doctor) house. I wait in the living room which doubles as his waiting room. Then get called through to the 'office' which is just an area partitioned off by two curtains. Sit in front of his desk, only to have him start checking out the wound, and shaving my hair off right there and then. Basically, jabbed me in the head five times with a 'little' needle to anesthesize the area (my head), and then started sewing my head up. All this as his wife or mother were cooking in the kitchen on the other side of the curtain, and the local advertising VW beetle drives passed on the dirt road, advertising some cheap place to get chickens or something. Left the office with five stitches and a bandage going over my head and under my chin!! Yes, I looked like some character out of Platoon or a little kid who just had molar pains....all the same really....
On the way back to the office after a long fitful siesta, I heard this little whining coming from a garbage can on the street. After some rummaging, I find two little newborn kittens in closed bag!! One still had its umbilical cord on. So, being the softie that I am, I take them with me, tucked in my fleece (its cold these days) to the office. I bought a little syringe and some baby milk mixture and take them home. I made a little bed for them, and painstakingly fed them before going to bed. I was then promptly woken up by high pitched whines at 2am, 5am and 7am. I now know what it feels like to have a small child!
Went to the local pet store owner/vet man/cabaña owner/father of young guy who works in internet store for advice. Basically told me that it will be a gruelling month of four times per day feedings, and then no guarantee that they will survive without their mother. And then for what? For a life on the streets of tulum? He had a point. He gave me an alternative; to leave them with him, and he would kindly feed them to his pet boa constrictors (how you kindly feed live kittens to a constricting snake is beyond me). Of course, I thanked him for his information, and kind offer to plump up his boas with my two new friends (Spots and Stripes) and shuffled away with the kittens in a snickers box under my arm. What was I to do??? Well, after a lot of thinking, and deep searching into my soul, I did what any decent man would do………I fed two little beautiful kittens to two not-so-beautiful boa constrictors!!!! Well, not me personally, but I might as well. I feel so low. My conscience is rock bottom right now. But there is somewhat of a silver lining to all this….the guy wants to give me the boas so I can let them loose in the reserve. So its as if I have transferred the little kittens lives into the boas…..OK, MAYBE NOT, BUT IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER!!!!
So now I am nursing a five centimeter wound in my head, my deflated conscience, and like always after work, a couple of Negra Modelos (uhm, it’s a beer, not African-Latino model girls!! What do you take me for!??!). Ah, the beauty of living in Tulum, Mexico, eh? Its all just one big adventure, and barrels of laugh…..
Well, this episode is coming to a close, but stay tuned for more……’Trials and Tribulations from Tulum’.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Abrazos a todos, David
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